The Girl with the Traveling Heart: East Africa Week 3

Week 3- Somewhere in Kenya

I don’t know that I’ve ever prayed for God to change a situation more than I’ve prayed over the last three weeks. It’s a story for another time but adjusting to the group dynamics here has been pretty difficult. I anticipated some challenges, but I had no idea just how much this trip would force me to grow. As I’ve mentioned previously, being here not with a faith-based group has been difficult. Mostly because it’s so easy to feel isolated without a community based on Jesus. I’ve seen that firsthand this trip.

So during out third week, we travelled around Kenya. We pretty much stayed in a new city almost every night. Sunday night we stayed in a hostel run by nuns in Nairobi. I’m not sure why but Sunday was a real low day. I felt like I was under a great deal of spiritual attack. I legit texted my best friend and was like “I want to come home. Now. I don’t feel like I belong on this trip and I think I could be doing so much better with my time at home”. This friend immediately responded with encouragement and a reminder that I am NOT alone and that I cannot do this alone. It was the reminder I needed to stay grounded, but it was not what I wanted to hear. (pro tip: get u a best friend who is willing to provide solid Biblical comfort when u really need it)

            Literally right after this conversation I went to dinner in the hostel and I sat next to a woman who works with HIV/AIDS patients in northern Kenya. She shared her story and how much she loves being a nurse. She talked about the great joy she gets from helping patients and educating her community. It was in this moment that I knew I was where I am supposed to be. No doubt remains in my mind that God’s plan in bringing me halfway across the globe was intended for this summer. I am under spiritual attack because I am currently sitting in the Will of God. Yes this makes me a greater target, but I am also fighting alongside angels from the heavenly realm. My great cloud of witness is fighting alongside me. And my God has already won this battle. Needless to say, I got a gift in Nairobi greater than anything I could have imagined.

            Monday, we travelled to Amboseli to the nicest resort I’ve seen in East Africa. The shower stayed hot for more that 20 seconds and I cried real tears. I was told that if I woke up early enough we could see Mt. Kilimanjaro. The trick is that you have to catch it before the morning clouds role in and it disappears for the day. You better believe my butt was out of bed at 5:30 staring at the blur in the distance. What’s funny is that I expected the most beautiful moment to be right when the sun rose. As I watched the light purple sky turn pink, a sliver of the great Mt. Kilimanjaro was visible. I thought I had seen the best of the mountain. I sat back and watched the Serengeti wake up. I saw mice scurry out of the brush and into their holes. I saw families of birds emerge from trees and head out on their daily journey. In the stillness and waiting, I saw more beauty than I could have imagined. As I sat on the back porch of my room, I could not stop smiling because I realized I’m living my dream. Although it is messy and hard and very challenging, God has placed a dream in my heart that He is using for His glory. So, as I got my things ready for the day and after I packed up my stuff to move on to the next city, I turned one last time to catch a glimpse at the most beautiful mountain I’ve seen and realized that the prime time to view Mt. Kilimanjaro is right after sunrise. I had anticipated the wrong moment. It wasn’t in the moment I was expecting, rather after the waiting and stillness, the mountain shone like a jewel in the distance.

            The season of life I’m in right now looks a lot like this. I am a dreamer, so I like to plan my life to a T. I like to know just when I can maximize my effectiveness (at least according to what I know). I plan and I plot and I rush to get to the next place. When I live like this, I miss the stillness. I miss the beauty that God has placed in front of me. He leads me beside still waters and teaches my heart to listen. In the stillness He tales captive my thoughts and teaches them to obey His will. In the stillness, He reveals to me His Grace. In the stillness I discover that He is capable of crafting a future better than I could imagine. In the stillness, I am reminded that we were created for Him. I am reminded that my sole purpose in life is to Glorify God with my every breath, to love the person in front of me so that they may know the Love of God. I am reminded that I was not created to live life alone. If I rush out of seasons, I may miss the best view. I may miss the love song He sings to me. I may miss the love He has created for me.

            Needless to say, my experience in Arusha was amazing. After I watched the sunrise, we visited a group of Masai. It was interesting and educational. It challenged me to unlearn my own ideas of “normal” and start to see the world through the eyes of its creator. After spending way too much on jewelry for my family and friends, we drove another 4 hours to Voi where we would spend two nights.

            In Voi, we went on a safari and saw A LOT of animals that can also be seen in the Lion King. Again, in my stillness I spotted lionesses that the entire group almost missed. I don’t know that I knew fear until I was within 5 feet of a hungry lioness. Girl power is real, and if you don’t believe me just look at a lioness ready to feed cubs and you’ll know what I mean.

After the Safari, we had the treat of learning from a local ethnic group, Taita. The group of around 5 women and 6 men performed a traditional dance that is preformed at a wedding. They explained a beautiful process of courtship within their group (blog post on courtship coming soon, but it’s too much for this one haha). I met a woman named Ruth and she shared her story with me. Ruth lost her firstborn when her daughter was 13. Ruth had a different name at the time, but she shared that after her grief drive her mad, she was washed by the cleansing blood of Jesus. Ruth then proceeded to quote one of my fav verses ever “Where you go I will go. Where you live I will live/ Your people will be my people, and your God my God.”(Ruth 1:16) God was totally working that night.

            After Voi, we spend three nights in Mombasa, a port city on the coast of Kenya. Honestly, I was not a super big fan of Mombasa, mostly due to my fear of big cities. We go to visit a really neat place though called Bombalala. It is a business that employs people with different abilities. It provides economic stability for individuals who are most often cast aside. It was a really neat opportunity.

            I can’t believe I’m admitting this but the end of week three was a relief. At first 6 weeks seemed like a daunting task. 6 weeks away from family and friends. I’m a home body, but I’m quickly realizing home for me is not a place, its people. When my people are far away, I too feel far away. It’s really hard to fight isolation. The lies that creep into your mind that no one back home is really thinking of you, that no one cares that you’re gone, or that your relationships are not strong enough to survive distance. Welp, this is me rebuking those lies. In the name of Jesus I have and will continue to cast out all fear. My hope is eternal. My God is greater. Walking on dirt roads being surrounded by mosquitos feels oddly enough like home. Is this a foreshadowing for the future? I don’t know and honestly, I’m glad I don’t. I am in the process of practicing waiting. I don’t want to go anywhere that I haven’t been commanded. I don’t want to abandon a call that was ordained by a God who knows my inner most being.

            This trip has been so hard. Like, I’ve never felt so alone and confused and angry. But I know, without a shadow of a doubt that this is where I was created to be. I have been called to go. I believe with my whole heart that I was meant to be here in Dar Es Salaam on June 17^th, 2019.

            Thank you for your support and prayers. I am so grateful for you, my community.