The Girl with the Traveling Heart: East Africa Week 4

I am SO GLAD I’m over half way through this trip. I miss my people. I miss my cat. I miss coffee shops. I don’t miss a lot of things about American society, but I really really REALLY miss being able to use sink water to brush my teeth . I only have 2 weeks left until I’m home for the few short weeks left of summer and then I’m back in Knoxville. Yikes! I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back. I need to backtrack.

            So this last week was all in Dar Es Salaam, the capital city of Tanzania. If you know me, you know I am not a big fan of big cities. Dar is the largest city in East Africa. Boy oh boy am I learning patience. I am constantly reminding myself that I am not here for myself. If I were, my sunburned butt would have been on a plane back to Memphis a month ago. This week we got back to normal classes and I was relieved. I mean, the whole point in me coming on this trip was to learn as much Swahili as I could. Learning a new language is a daunting task, but I have really enjoyed the learning part. Gosh I’m such a nerd. If someone payed me to I think I’d stay in school forever. (hint hint- anyone want to pay for my seminary in three years haha)

            We spend our afternoons exploring the city. We went to the nicest mall I’ve ever seen in my life and we had a #selfcareday. Thursday was one of the worst days of my life. No lie. Class was really great- I am learning at my beginner level now and I have been learning so much.

            Now when the afternoon came around and we went on our “cultural experience” we went to the market. You know the scene in “Aladdin” when he’s singing “One Jump”? Yeah, imagine that but you’re a vulnerable while American girl who hates crowds and is constantly being cat called.  I’ve never felt more uncomfortable in my life. It has caused me to realize just how vulnerable being a woman can be. I don’t know why the experience bothered me so much, maybe it was the crowds and the people shoving things in your face, but I mean every passerby was getting harassed by people trying to sell their knock off gold jewelry. I know the people trying to sell things are just trying to provide for their families, I really get that; but this Mzungu will never again go to the Dar Es Salaam market. If (when) I move to Africa for a longer period, I will happily stop by a street vender in the middle of Kisiwani before I go to a market like that. Gesh.

            I have also reached the point in my trip when I cohabitate with wildlife. There’s a giant roach on my wall? Make yourself at home buddy. If I don’t mess with you, you don’t mess with me. Haha. I also feel like at this point in my life there’s very few places that God will call me that will be more, how do I say this, totally unexpected than this.

            Being here to study has also been weird. I realized this week that this is really the first time I’ve traveled this far from home not for service. Within this though, I realized that my job is to serve the people around me. Bob Goff, one of my FAV authors (And a fellow Enneagram 2) wrote once about mission trips. He basically said why do we call things ministry and mission trips? Isn’t that the point of life? And then I realized that I can’t use the excuse “I don’t have to serve people because I’m on a study trip” Nope. I am not off duty for Jesus. Every day is a chance to serve someone and show love. I think I have had a harder time showing love on this trip that I ever have had. When I say it is not by my strength but by His that I am still here, I mean it. The Lord has been so faithful. He has sustained me. He has used the people around me to teach me so many lessons.

            Another thing I’ve learned is that we cannot live without Grace. We, as sinful people, are imperfect. We are loved so fiercely by a Perfect God who showers us with Grace. We can’t be stingy with this grace though. If we don’t show people grace in our actions, then how will they know who Jesus is? After all, Jesus said the world will know who he is by the way we love one another. We make mistakes. We get hurt. We take part in activities that harm others. We support harmful organizations and we don’t care. If any among us is perfect he/she can cast the first stone. I don’t know about you, but that is not me. Justice is not mine to define. Vengeance is not mine to claim. We are to seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly. Sometimes the most painful thing I have to do is hold my tongue. There have been so many times on this trip that I’ve wanted to stand up for something or defend an idea, but that is not my job. I am really working on being slow to speak and quick to listen. Emphasis on working.

No amount of true wisdom can be produced from my pea sized brain. Everything that I should build my confidence on is above me. This has been so hard. Learning what to let go. Learning to pick my battles. Learning to accept that the real battle has already been won and what we see is the fallout of a broken creation. (It’s like the battle of New Orleans that Andrew Jackson lead after the Hartford convention had already happened and the war of 1812 was finally over but they didn’t know that deep in the south, so they fought a battle that had already been won. It helped lead to the destruction of the federalist party. Fun history fact!!)

The highlight of my week was this past weekend when we got to stay with a family for a homestay. I got paired with a family with a lot of kids. Every hour it seems a new kid would walk up and my host mom would say “This is your Auntie Juli!! She’s gonna play with you!” And so Auntie Juli spent her weekend loving on babies. This was one of the first times since I’ve been here that I’ve truly felt like myself. I was talking to a friend earlier this week about how children’s ministry was not my thing. I love kids more than anything in this world but honestly, I really never got super involved in Children’s ministry. He very wisely replied that children’s ministry is everyone’s calling. And I was like waaaaaaaat. As I was playing with the kids this weekend and wiping noses and pulling kids out of the water, I realized that every interaction I have with a kid is an opportunity for ministry. Every hug, every patient reply, and every listening ear is a chance to show the Gospel to a kid. I always thought it was weird that I love to discipline kids. Not yell at them because I do not believe in yelling at children. Rather, I love talking to them about their actions and helping them make good decisions. Slowing them down to help them understand why we don’t snatch or why we don’t push out cousin down the slide. I think it’s a maternal instinct that my wonderful mother passed to me to help teach kids justice. Not the kid of vigilantly justice the world teaches, but the grace that we’ve been granted and our responsibility to reflect that grace.

As you can see, this week was all over the place. I had some really great moments and some really tough ones. I have so many people who are rooting for me. I am constantly amazed by the great cloud of witness God has blessed me with. So to you, my community, I say thank you. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your encouragement. Thank you for your love.